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its an old song, but one that i'm listening to now quite often.
its in the playlist now. sums up what happened in the past week.

I have to block out thoughts of you so I dont lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that Im alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
Theres a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

Im sober now for 3 whole months its one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I wont touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So Ill drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didnt do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didnt do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

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sorry for the lack of updatings. used to blog ever so often last time but now its kinda slow. reasons why after today's posting.

was out with joe to adeline's place some time back, wayyy backkk! just finished editing those pics. went to adeline's to gym and swim. been awhile since we went out, so yeah.
no pics of gym-ing but loads of poolside pics! ((:


woke up so late luhh! rushed and prep-ed. supposed to meet at 12.30 i think? but i woke up only at like 11.

was on the way down to adeline's when joe texted me at 12. guess what?
HE JUST WOKE UP! belardie kuku! xD
waited for him for 45mins! see~ i'm a patient boy, HAHA!(:
and he arrived, like finally!
bus-ed down to her place at sembawang. got into a quarrel with the guards there.
irritating! spoil mood lor! kns!



nice right?! OMG! its a freaking expensive house please!! few million can! that's at least 6 zeros!!
4 storeys! 3 aboove ground and 1 under ground! claps please, HAHA! ((:


in the gym. worked out for like an hour plus? before we headed down to the pool!!
yeah, pathetic i know. =/ we only wanted to chillout what!



threw out bags by the poolside, and into the water we went!
enough of captions! its pictures!



































smoke breakkkkkkkkkkkkk!! m18! (:



back to the pool!! joe was doing somersaults! OMG! so cool can!











we basically sat by the pool and chilled and talked. chatted about life and our past, and the future. talked cock and bitched also! and of course canwhore as well luh! ((: headed home at 6plus.


so yeah, been a hectic few weeks. school has been off the hook! ):
professional profiling is due in a week and i've only analysed that annual report.
loads more to go; SWOT analysis, PEST analysis and loads loads more. urgh! ):
lucky that school's ending in 3 weeks time. but there's still PP rework to be done! )):

besides that, work has been really tiring too! fun, but tiring.
wont go into details, except my body clock's going haywire!

been emoemo this few days. listening to those songs, and looking at those photos. it just brings out alot of emotions. aye.

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week has been a very busy and tiring one.
school, work. dropping the cheque tmr, means saturday i'll be rich! HAHA!
have so many things to do.
gotta go to starhub for the new simcard! this card's crazy lor! cant be used!
sorry people if i didnt reply you or the call doesnt get through, its not my fault!
i'm at the losing end too! )):
ermerm, professional profiling jammed cos of annual report.
work, busy as usual.
ohohoh!! noticed that tag from haliza, shit! gotta get to get her asap! really sorry!!
baybeh's sick! ):
ohya, interview tomorrow! wish me luckkk!! ((:






it takes two hands to clap, if you didnt initiate the topic, i wont have gone this far.
now you say i dont wanna cross you? you stepped on MY tail.
you asked about my heritage, and i told you.
you freaking didnt believe, so fuck off. why bother to add on?

and you didnt approve my comments, so why should i?
you're not in my friendster list, which means i dont know you.
me replying your comments is a complete gesture that i'm not dao or whatever.
so yeah, forgive me, but i prioritize my friends before strangers.
so its not wrong for me to just delete your comment after replying you.

i know, i'm nobody as compared to you.
that's why i know i have nothing to lose in this conversation as compared to you who has your face, image and your ass, literally.
so bring it on. but wait, you dont know me like i know you.

you dont know me, thus your comments about me are purely speculation and assumptions, or even just hear-say from your friends.
my comments, however, is a consensus among the people whom i know.
trust me darling, you dont wanna know whoever i know, but i'll be glad to tell you if you wanna know.

you calling me "young one"? save me some breathe, dont get me started.
bitch me? try harder interlect!



p/s: i'm trying hard to resist "printscreen-ing" that comment and pasting it here.
then i'll just wait for the authorities to grab hold of it and i'll see you behind bars for racist comments.

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went clubbing about a month back during the chalet entry.
it was during the chalet duration that ryan went to club.
was IM-ed by valentino while was at chalet.

there's 2 days to this entry, back to back. friday's then saturday's.
enjoy((:

planned with valentino and train-ed to clarkequay and bus-ed down to the club.
met valentino at the usual makan area for light dinner and headed in to get our entry.
alvin was working so entry was smooth.


met up with garrick as he was running late abit. re-entered the club.
another one of valentino's friend headed down frim his hotel and got his entry into the club as well.



school tmr, meeting up with zach and heading to school together! ((:
module: statistics
faci: ervin liew

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heyy! sorry for not blogging! been so so busy balancing work, study and play.
clubbing has been cut down ALOT! and so has going out!

anyways, was back from town. had lunch with CY. last minute lah, he just ended his course.
been quite some time since we met up since everyone has been so so busyy.
met up with fiona, that bitch! she's still as blur as ever! nothing's changed, haha!(:
what happened after that? aha! that's.. ehem! bu neng shuo de mi mi.. HAHA! ((:


well well, was down taking pictures at airport terminal 3, esplanade, supreme court, and fort canning few weeks back.
was with the bros. reached T3 at close to 2 and off we went on our photo mission! ((:






random pictures @ T3!





the planes~!! sadly, its been awhile since ryan's been on one )):
"if i could, fly awayyyy..." (to the tune of nelly's fly away)


PSP keeps people awake!!

so many people were staring at us while we took this pictures! typical singaporean, kaypoh!

headed out for a smoke and we took some shots as well!


headed down to esplanade as the next destination!
smoke break! ((:

look at my elder bro! machiam director! who does he think he is? feeling feeling royston tan huh?! =/

photoshoot @ roof terrace!


random shot of li, acting shyshy wors! =/


my car? porche boxter! ((:
damn, the photographer is good! ((:

edited, feeling fierce lahh.


at the supreme court! photoshoot for some gang triad movie! haha!

see~ four people aim one! eeeks! eat people onlyyy =/


headed up fort canning!

that cheeky little brother of mine (:

who's canon is the biggest? =/


haha! only ryan's solo shots lahh, lazy to upload the rest. cos they're all about the same (:
more entries to come yeah?
clubbing event with teeeno TINOTAN and garrick!

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drowned in lightsticks, alcohol and music over the weekend.
enjoyed the weekend with the fab mates; kelvin, benji, cy, denise, meiqi.

cant help but think..
i'm hesitating, but i didnt know that it'll turn out so bad.
perhaps i'm not cut out for this, perhaps i'm just afraid.

i know, i'm a selfish prick, i'm sorry ):
i've destroyed the one chance for me to start anew; good job ryan.

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