instead of getting my much needed rest, i was actually out for dinner with ernest@ newyork pizza. its been such a long time that i havent met up with him, close to 3 months? yeahh. i think i'm being a tad too emotional tonight, even ernest says so. i dont see why its wrong for me to turn a blind eye to my close friends who havent contacted me for the past 2 months. he says that i shouldnt, cos everyone has their own lives to deal with and somehow will neglect their friends. yeah, neglect.
somehow i just dont trust that these people are so busy with their own lives. come on, what will make you so busy? your daily routine of home, school, town, club? thats total crap. lets be serious, even if so, i dont believe that you're so busy to the extent of not having time to even just sending one just to know how i'm doing. and then there are others who cant even take 10 seconds to reply texts. if you are, i seriously suggest that you give me your cellphone, since you'll be too busy to entertain anyone who texts you or calls you anyways.
and some just steps up the drama!WOW LA HOR! that is so believable. well, i should pass you an application form for mediacorp cause gosh do they need talents like you! you're in town and you see me on the streets. you act as though you dont see me, but when i noticed you and say hi, you immidiately turn all smiley shit and tell me of how much you missed me and shit. TOTAL CRAPPY BULLSHIT PLEASEEE!! i dont need you to start being all plastic in front of me telling me you miss my presence in clubs or even in town. if yoou missed me, i'm just a phone call away. period.
fuck you guys, seriously.and i hate to admit the fact that these are the same people who ask me for help on their relationships and life. people whom i actually stayed up at night for, people whom i actually stood up for at a moment in time. disappointed i am.
and then there's that one person whom has affected me alot, yes, sadly the cliche is true. the one who you love the most is the one whom will hurt you the most as well. i cant believe its been 8 long months since my very last relationship. people say that it should be easy for me to get into a relationship because of manymany reasons. but somehow, i feel no matter how much i try to get into one, i always fail. obviously, i've been dating. am i reaching for the stars here people? just one whom can really really understand me. perhaps like ernest said, my expectations are too high, i dont know. he's been enouraging me to start dating but i'd rather say that i'm just not ready for the next relationship, the next step. sometimes, in order to open the door in front of me, i gotta close the door behind me. perhaps this is the time. perhaps what ernest said is true, i've wasted 8 months of my life.
it is so silly, but sometimes we let ourselves get in the way of what we love so dearly. i will no longer, let my bad thoughts hinder and hamper myself no more. it deters me from what i have lost of that i had before; but it will not again for what i have now. goodbye, once or twice was enough because i have found me now. ambiguous i may practice with animosity.
p/s: i'm not directing this to anyone. i cant help it if you have a guilty conscience. :D
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class today was so distracted! in a good way of course. ((: lesson was plain dull and no one was concentrating. everyone was more enthu of the class outing that's gonna happen this weekend than the lesson at hand. ahh, and did i mention that china bitch was complaining again? gah! there was so much hype on what's gonna be done for the outing and blah blah blah.. so fucked up with the fact that's i'm gonna be working on the actual day! tsk! hopefully i can grab off last minute. i'm so fucked!
and i'm behind time on alot of stuffs! )): pp assessment date is luring nearer and nearer and i know nuts on what to do for that! someone kill me pleaseeeeee!! besides that, i have yet to alias with the soccer blog that i'm gonna be writing at. on top of all that, i still have to bother about all those damn freaking UTs and modules that are up and coming! needless to say, CE points! tsktsk! )): ohya, staying back after school tomorrow to collect blazer and rehersal for the event on wednesday! and i'm STILL sick! god bless my life pleaseee! i'm so gonna die a fucking workaholic!
damn, i cant believe i wrote so much just on school. dont get me started on my personal life! where should i start? from the one who's pissing me off time and again or the friends whom i havent met in months? and then there's the self-denial that i'm happy with my love/sex life, which is so NOT true; cos i dont even have one! its high time to expand my network again, sighh. i'm so screwed!!
ryan, b-r-e-a-t-h-e ~~
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Saturday, October 18, 2008
update; zackyboy's birthday
lets see, what happened since the last proper post..
fell super ill, took some jabs and blood samples. laptop died on me, hard disk yet to be replaced. missed loads of stuffs; monthsary, birthdays. approaching the last week of school before a one week break. pp poster assessment date is nearinggg...
yeah, i'm still alive ((:
on top of all these, i havent met up with loads of my friends! tsk! most of them are still down to the usual lifestyle; home, town, club. well, i guess i'm kinda sick of doing the same damn shit day in day out.
school, tskkk! half the time its boring, the other half the time it pisses the hell out of me. i'm only looking forward to breaks as i'm still chilling out with the boys, kinda relaxes me i guess. the competitive nature of the class is kinda demoralising for me i guess. sadly, though its week 7, i think, i'm still adjusting. UT was kinda alright, zack came to find me for help as usual. gonna be involved in SEG (school of engineering) week! will be doing some ushering job as there's VIP visit i heard. no info yet. well, who cares, i'm only in it for that darn CE points. i only completed 11 out of 40 please! tsktsk!! )):
shuffling between home and school nowadays, and i'm still sick though the doc says i should be okay like days back. damn those polyclinic doctors..
ohyea, i have gone 7 full days without tobacco! woots! =/ its one hurdle crossed, next up 2 weeks! damn, the temptation kills.
so yeah, this is just some update til now. i'm still kinda down cos my lappy's dead. school's tablet pc is fuckslow and its so NOT entertainment-friendly! tsktsk!!
ohyea, been bumping into loads of bloggers in RP nowadays; esther, shawn, andy and some other bloggers. and there was this talk on some "blogging for profit" shit which i attended few days back with mickey after school. boring twitty-bird shit can! why twitty bird? cos the speaker sounded like one..
ohyea, i'll be based on another blog also, blogging on some soccer stuffs. will update you guys on that soon. nights world (:
last but not least, happy 19th birthday zacky! :D
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Friday, October 17, 2008
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
how was my graduation? graduation from secondary school was fun! everyone was so looking forward to prom, from checking out the prices of renting suits to finding a prom date! could still remember that the prom's theme was red carpet! haha! damn it was fun!
sadly, in poly, its no more prom but dinner and dance. sounds fun! more mature and chim! =/
below are some youtube clips that were on youtube for some time! my clique was actually lipsync-ing to some songs! its not perfect but is darn funny! check it out!
Catch Walt Disney Pictures' High School Musical 3: Senior Year in cinemas from October 24!
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Wednesday, October 15, 2008
shifted from rz-zle@blogspot to hihimynameisryan@blogspot on oct 15@12noon!